the whole of today i am cocooning myself in my room..
when will the butterfly in me start its metamorphosis!!!
and its as if im guarding some treasures..
but actually i just dint find anyone to go out..haha!
im running out of cash.. and this sucks..
i have to get a
job job job job job job..
i cant imagine this.. once i start working..
i have to wait for some.. 39 years to quit it..
by then i'll be 60 years old..!!! gosh!!!
so 20 years of growing up and study.
40 years of work, and another 10 years to waste more air and food..
wah great, another 11 days to countdown to 21st..
i dont know what to do man..
im definately not gonna have chalet..
im definately not bbq-ing..
cos its abit.. errrrrrrr...
wad else.. ha.. stay home cocoon..!!!
wah damn sian..
i every year bdae also cry..
this year sure worse..
cos the society has imprinted into our mindset..
HEY YOU, 21ST IS BIG THING..
while everyone is happily celebrating on 21st.. or even
even my brother celebrated his 21st..
ahhhh.. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO commercialise,
SO, birthdays is supposedddd to be a gathering of friends to celebrate my birth..?
or a get together with me as a reason to/ as a middleman..
let me recap.. er..
my 16 i watch a movie with 1 fren.. no cakes
my 17 i went sakae sushi with 4 frens to eat.. no cakes
my 18 my htm yr 1 class celebrated all the junies bdae in tp, got class..1 slice of cake.. class mah, everybody needs to eat..
my 19 i dint celebrate, but my proggers surprised me with 3 damn nice t-shirt and a dog bone haha! no cakes
my 20 i spent it at a fren hse, 1 fren, and post bdae traumatisation. my proggers got my NUM voucher, which i got my 2nd pair of hava, and it broke in front of KK and din at compass point arcade earlier this year.. hahah! no cakes
My 21.. NO PLANS...
quite pathetic right..!!!! hahah!
no one bothers anyways..
but i really want to like TRY celebrating..
cos.. i dont know how it feels like to have a celebration..
and i wanna know..
in the hidden and forgotten memories within my head..
i had never had any collection of celebrating, or even knowing
or ever experiencing how it shld feel, or shld be felt.
burn them all, feelings..
